Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
