How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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