ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Actions speak louder than pants.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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