she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
