I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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