Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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