so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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