you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
