he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
