You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
