I'd wear matching sweaters with you
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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