Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
