when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You ruined the universe
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
