I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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