so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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