we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
