Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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