It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
