even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize