k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
