My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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