I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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