I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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