he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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