I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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