who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
