# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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