the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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