If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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