I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
