there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
