we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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