you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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