She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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