all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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