Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
my poor anus
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
