Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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