The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize