FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
