you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
