What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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