omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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