There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
