I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
