blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
