Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
