Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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