Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
