Nicole vs. Life
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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