i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
