Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
