i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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