I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
