no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We need to rekindle our bromance
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
