I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize