dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
