shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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