I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
this is an emotional support booty call
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
