and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You made out with two different species that night
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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